Autism Island: 50 things you SHOULD say to autism parents.

Autism Island: 50 things you SHOULD say to autism parents.: Wow!  50 things you should not say to autism parents went viral this week getting over 10,000 views in 48 hours.  Thank you to everyo...

Autism Island: 50 things you should not say to autism parents.

Autism Island: 50 things you should not say to autism parents.: I wrote this post for two different people: autism parents, and the people we interact with.  If you are an autism parent I hope...

Autism’s UGLY side

It’s not often that the A word rears its ugly head as badly as it did yesterday.  THANK GOD FOR THAT!  Yesterday, Matthew was completely out of control!  He refused to get out of bed to start…that should’ve let me know what kind of day it was going to be…then I got 3…yes 3, e-mails from his teacher in less than an hour.  He failed his Science test and didn’t do his English homework at all.  (Okay, not that big of a deal…he just retakes the test and gets detention for English…)  It gets worse…At lunchtime, as his class was walking into the cafeteria, he saw Scott.  For no reason that anyone who witnessed it could discern, Matthew walked up to Scott, punched him in the arm and flicked his ear.  (Scott’s arm is still sore tonight.)  Finally, he was doodling in his Math workbook instead of working so his teacher got onto him.  What did he do?  He utterly DESTROYED his Math workbook to the point of no return.  Yep…got to get him a new one ordered—you read that correctly---they have to ORDER him a new one.  *sigh*  Is that it?  Not yet!  When she asked him why he did that, he then started yelling and throwing stuff around the classroom. 

Have I mentioned I believe his teacher is an absolute SAINT????

I do not know why he does this kind of stuff, but I do wish he didn’t.  I’ve had people tell me it’s because we don’t discipline him enough or the right way.  I’ve also had people tell me,”if he were MY kid, he wouldn’t do that!”  (These statements are from people who work with kids every day—kind of scary, huh?)  When he runs off in public, they’ll say stuff under their breath, thinking we can’t hear them, like “what kind of parents are they anyway to just let him do that?”  Seriously?  Do they think we WANT to chase him and try to find him when the sensory overload gets to be too much?  Do they think it’s fun to see everyone of his peers get invited for sleepovers & birthday parties & not him?  Do they really think he’s not noticing this?  HE DOES!  I DO!  His Brother does….he’s not invisible…just different.  Autism is not contagious!  Your kids won’t “catch” it from him.  They may even be better off if they know him!  It’ll make them more compassionate & aware of the fact that just because someone thinks differently than they do—it doesn’t mean they can’t be your friend!   Do these people think it’s fun for Scott to have an Autistic brother?  Unfortunately, Scott gets the brunt of Matthew’s aggression.  Jason & I stop it when we can, but it is impossible for us to be around ALL the time.  We can’t afford it financially for one of us to quit and stay home with them.  We tried that for 2 years & it isn’t feasible at this time.  He doesn’t qualify for Social Security because of our income, but if I quit work to take care of him, the Social Security he would get wouldn’t be as much as I make—kind of hard to justify that, huh?  Money isn’t everything, but it is essential if you want to live in a halfway decent part of town.

Then there’s the part of me that worries about what would happen to him if something happens to me or Jason.  I know one of our family members would take him and they would try their best, but they don’t understand what Autism is and how if affects our daily lives.  They get to see bits & pieces when they’re around, but unless you’re around it 24/7, you just CAN’T “get it”!  I don’t want Scott to feel obligated to take care of Matthew, so we encourage Scott to have as many interests as he can that are separate from Matthew. 

 

Sorry if this has turned into a rant, but I just got to let it go sometimes or I feel like I’m going to explode. 

 

Peace and love to all!

Dea

Palm Sunday

What did you and your family do for Palm Sunday?  Did you worship the Lord?  It’s a great time to do so!  This is the time of the year when Christians all over the world celebrate Easter.  We do not celebrate Jesus’ death so much as His resurrection and his triumph over death and sin.  Why is it called Palm Sunday?  Here’s the Biblical Reference from the book of John—chapter 12:  On the next day much people that were come to the feast, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, ¹³Took branches of palm trees, and went forth to meet him, and cried, Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord.   I’m no preacher, but Palm Sunday was 6 days before the Passover feast in Israel.  Jesus was crucified the day before Passover and rose 3 days later.  This rising from the dead is what we’ve come to celebrate as Easter.  It’s not about eggs and candy.  It’s a celebration of being free from the curse of death that was laid on us when Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden.  Jesus offered himself willingly as a sacrifice so that we as unholy creatures can approach and be with the Most High Holy God.  I attended Sunday School with Matthew today as we’re still working on getting Omri used to going to church.  In his Middle School Youth class, they talked about the Parable of the Wedding Feast in the book of Matthew in The Bible.  “Many are invited, but few will enter.”  I believe this is a reference to the fact that God desires all of us to accept Jesus as His Son and our Savior, but not all of us will come to him and accept Him as Savior AND Lord.  Do we live our lives everyday to reflect this or are we caught up in petty spats at work?  Do we willingly share with others what God has done in our lives or are we too afraid of being ridiculed and cast out?  These are tough questions and ones I struggle with every day.  I’m not perfect, Lord knows, and it’s only by HIS Grace that I can approach God’s throne with confidence that He hears my prayers.  Do you have this same confidence?  If not, I encourage you to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and find a good Bible believing/Bible teaching church in your area.  Sometimes you will need to visit several before you find one that feels like “home”.    How do you accept Jesus as Lord and Savior?  It’s as easy as A, B, C.  Accept Jesus is God’s Son and that He came down from Heaven to die for your sins.  Believe that He died for your sins, rose again, and is in Heaven preparing a place for you. Confess that Jesus is Lord and Savior.  Although this blog is more about family than a Christian outreach, I feel that I would not be fulfilling my responsibility to spread the Good News if I didn’t offer up this opportunity for everyone who reads it to accept Jesus. 

As far as our Wonder Dog, Service Dog, Omri goes, he is doing GREAT!  He went with us Friday night to Texas Roadhouse.  I had a Steak Kabob, Jason had Steak and Ribs, and the boys had Ribs.  Omri did really well!  His little nose was working overtime heading into the restaurant, but he went right in and went into an “under” at our table.  He got up only once…when the servers started clapping and dancing to celebrate another customer’s birthday.  All he did then was stand up under the table and look at Jason.  Jason told him it was ok, and Omri just laid back down.  As we left, we got a lot of stares and I could hear people saying, “I didn’t realize there was a dog in here.”  That is the GREATEST compliment we could get when he’s with us.      He did well at church this morning, too.  He laid down in Sunday School for about 30 minutes, then he started whimpering so I took him to “potty”.  When we got back in, he laid back down and chilled out til we finished.

It’s been a rough week for Scott.  I received a phone call from school on Monday saying he was complaining of a tummy ache.  When I went to pick him up, he was pale and sweaty.  I asked where he hurt, and he pointed right over the spot where his appendix lives so as a precaution, we took a trip to the ER at the new Children’s Hospital.  Thankfully, it wasn’t that, but dehydration so we got to go home after about 7 hours.  He did have an ultrasound AND a CT Scan just to be sure because of how tender he was.  Then on Friday, when I took him for his allergy shots, the second one stung so much he had tears!  Next, I think Scott broke his little toe yesterday before his soccer game.  He was walking back into the living room from the kitchen and caught the corner of the coffee table.  I thought he’d just stubbed it at first, but once he calmed down, he told me that the corner of the table had caught between his 2 littlest toes and pulled them apart.  It looks pretty bad…swollen and bruised.  He still played in his soccer game, though.  He played goalie for about half of the first half and then he played mid-fielder for about half of the second half.  He said that while he was playing it didn’t hurt.  He has been wearing flip flops around the house instead of his shoes to try to keep the pressure off of it. 

Matthew is working hard in school trying to get caught up so he doesn’t have to go to summer school this June.  He really wants to go to Boy Scout camp, and it’s the same time as summer school so he’s been working hard to be able to go to Boy Scout camp!    It’s kind of fun to have something like that to motivate him to do better.  Today, after church, I went to Wal~Mart grocery shopping and bought some cacti and some other little plants to go in our flower bed in the front of our duplex.  Matthew and Scott helped us with that.   I will post pics after the camera battery charges up a little.

 

Love,

Dea

Omri's letter to 4 Paws and the Pink Girlz and Yoda

Dear Pink Girlz and Yoda,

My boy and his family took me on a new adventure today. We went for a ride in
that big red thing they call a truck to a place that had the most water I've
EVER seen! They called it Lake Belton. When we got out of the truck, my boy
headed straight for the water. Wait! Why would a boy willingly go towards that
much water? I mean, hey, a bath is bad enough, why go into any water?
The adult human my boy calls "Dad" had one of those fuzzy yellow balls they call
tennis balls. He threw it into this thing they called a "lake". I couldn't
help myself! I flew into that wet stuff! I HAD to retrieve that ball! It was
MINE! When I got to it, I had a hard time getting it into my mouth...it was all
wet. When I turned around with the ball, my new family was yelling, "Atta boy,
Omri! Good job!" I don't know what they were so excited about, but apparently
I did something they really liked. When I got back to them, they told me to
"Drop it" and then they threw it into the water again! I was in HEAVEN! This
is such an AWESOME game! Why didn't ya'll tell me about this fun game? We need
to tell all the labs at 4 Paws about this! (Maybe the Golden Retrievers, too
although I wonder how long it would take all that hair to dry?) I don't know if
you Paps can carry a tennis ball and swim, but if you can, you definitely need
to try this!

Give hugs and doggie kisses to Mama Karen, Jeremy, Alicia, Jessa, Jenn, Jennifer
and the rest of the gang!

XOXO,
Omri (AKA The water dog!)

P.S.  I also went to Scott's soccer game with Matthew on Saturday.  It's almost a dog's version of heaven!  A bunch of kids playing with balls???  Seriously guys, who knew all this fun took place outside 4 Paws???

…and in breaking news…

Don’t you just hate it when your favorite show is interrupted with that statement?  I know some people who absolutely hate it when that phrase comes up.  My son, Matthew, for instance has not been pleased with March Madness this year.  His number one favorite show is “The Big Bang Theory” which comes on Thursday nights.  Well, guess what show was pre-empted for the NCAA basketball tournament this past week?  Yep…also, tonight, “The Amazing Race” has been delayed due to basketball games earlier in the day.  Right now, Matt is about to go bonkers waiting for “60 Minutes” to finish so he can see how the “country boys” do tonight on TAR.  Isn’t it funny how we all seem to find a favorite team or person to cheer for whether it’s basketball, reality shows, or real life?

The boys haven’t had such a fun Spring Break this year.  Scott is so far behind on his schoolwork, he may have to go to summer school this year.  Matthew is behind also, but he isn’t as far behind as Scott is.  Therefore, all Spring Break, they’ve had to work on school work instead of just vegging out in front of the TV or playing video games.  Omri looked at Jason and me every night when we got home as if to say, “Why aren’t they going to school this week?”  I’m sure he’s going to miss them tomorrow when they go back to school.  Omri went to Scott’s doctor’s appointment with us Friday.  Matthew was so happy and proud to show off his special dog.  Omri got to meet all the staff at the allergists’ and some of my co-workers when they went to lunch.  He absolutely LOVES an audience.  He did ALL his tricks and just gave his doggie grin to everyone he met. 

 

Can you say  Omri’s getting to be one spoiled dog???

I do promise he works!  I typically have my camera in Omri’s bag that we take with us when he works, I just forget to take it out & take pictures of them!  I’ve been toying with the idea of putting a sign on Omri’s harness that says “Will work for food”, but in light of the news I heard recently about people in North Korea starving to death, I’ve decided not to do so at this point in time.  I really think we who believe in miracles, and I do, need to pray for the people of N. Korea to get the food they so desperately need.  This is a situation that has really spoken to my heart.  I really don’t know what I can do as one person, but if as a group of believers, we can band together and pray for the leaders of N. Korea, maybe their citizens will get the physical nourishment they need.  I also believe that we can’t reach others for Jesus as he wants if they don’t understand how much we care about their physical well-being as much as their spiritual well-being.  It’s hard to focus on the things of the spirit if our physical needs aren’t being met adequately.

I recently started reading a book called “What Women Want: The Life You Crave and How God Satisfies” by Lisa T. Bergren and Rebecca Price.  The picture came from amazon.com so please forgive me for the “Look Inside”

 

 

 

 

 

  I must say, this book should be enlightening in more ways than one.  I don’t have a ton of time to read, but I love to do it.  Give me anything to read & I am SO very happy!  I will read anything from inspirational novels to books like this one to romance novels.  (That’s my dirty little secret, I guess.  I love to read romance novels…I know they’re terribly unrealistic, but they allow me to escape from reality briefly.)  How about you?  What do you like to read when you get time?

 

Love,

Dea

Rain, Make-up days and Sick Scott

For the few people who read this that don’t live in Texas, here’s something newsworthy around here: WE GOT RAIN this week!  This may sound really silly, but last year we had a SEVERE drought in Texas, and we were on water restrictions for part of the year.  We’re are very appreciative and blessed by God to get this much needed moisture.  I just pray that it raises the water level to the point necessary to off-set what we had last year.  The down-side is that Jason was called off work 2 days.     This coming week, the forecast is about 50/50 so I’m hoping Jason gets at least 40 hours.  Unrelated to the rain, I am scheduled to work next Saturday and Sunday so I will be off 2 days during the week.  For those who follow me on Facebook, I’ve had some stressors at work lately.  I’m very bitter about some things that I don’t wish to share at this moment.  There is a Bible verse in Matthew 6 about serving 2 masters, and that’s how I’ve felt lately—that I’m trying to serve 2 masters.  (The verse is Matthew 6:24—“No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other.”)  For those who know where I work, and what’s going on, just pray for me to put my faith and hope in God to help me through this….please don’t mention it at work.  Thanks.

Omri has played “golf hazard” all week for the boys as they practice their putting skills inside.  He just watches the ball go by. 

(I’m really surprised he hasn’t tried to “retrieve” the ball for them yet.  HA!)

 

Due to missed days from going to get Omri, being sick, etc. the boys are required to make-up any days they’ve missed over 10 days.  Therefore, they have to make-up this time. 

HOW?   The options are:

1. They can make them up by staying a little later after school.

2. They can go to summer school. (Matthew booed this one!)

3. They can go to Saturday school.

If they do not make up these days, they will be failed due to lack of time in grade regardless of how they do on their work.  Jason and I met with both of their teachers on Friday afternoon to figure out a solution to this issue.  They will stay a little later on my days off, and they will attend the “Pak-a-thons” the school has.  We will re-evaluate in about a month to see where we stand. 

 

 

 

Finally, Scott has been sick for almost a week.  I took him to the doctor after he threw up & was up all night being sick.  He has a chest infection compounded by cough, sneeze, allergies, etc.  It is that time of year unfortunately.    He comes by it honestly…Jason & I both have horrible allergies, and Scott gets 2 allergy shots a week.  He is allergic to EVERYTHING except dogs, horses, oak trees and maple trees.  Hmmmmm…Jason & I joked that we need to live in a bubble to keep him well.  Add to this he LOVES soccer.  HIs asthma does flare up when he plays—his coach has been very accommodating – Scott plays goalie.  He is one of the smallest ones on his team, but he is also the quickest. I think that works in his favor.

This upcoming week is Spring Break here.  We’re not doing anything exciting….are you?

Love,

Dea

What was I thinking/What a week!

What was I thinking? 

Jason stayed in Texas to work while Matthew & I traveled to Ohio to get Omri.  Scott stayed in Arkansas with my parents.  When I got home, the house was absolutely trashed!  (see my last post for more on THAT!) In case anyone is wondering, no, it still isn’t cleaned up.  I’ve been working on it, but I can only do so much every day after work & I refuse to stress about it on the weekends when I can spend that time with my boys!

I have been so focused on getting Matt’s Service Dog that I haven’t thought about things like how to keep Scott involved without breaking the bond between Matt & Omri. Fortunately, Matt likes Omri so much that he interacts with his SD more than I ever thought possible.  However, Scott is the ultimate animal lover.  As such, Omri picks up on that and wants to hang out with Scott every bit as much as with Matthew.  Oh, he knows Matthew is “his boy”, but I can tell he would like to hang out with Scott more.  So far, Scott has handled it pretty well.  I have promised him a Fire-bellied toad when I get paid next.  Does anyone have one or know how to take care of one?  Here is a picture of one I pulled off Google:

Omri is the greatest, smartest dog I’ve ever seen, but he is still a dog…a puppy really!  He’s only 15 months old, and he still has a ton of energy.  He makes mistakes, like pooping in the hallway at school, and not coming when called.  How do I keep my sanity???  In some ways, I feel like I’ve added another kid to take care of, although it was a lot easier getting him ready for church this morning than getting the boys ready, that for sure! I’ve really been stressing about this so I’m just going to share with ya’ll in hopes it’ll help me feel better knowing others know what’s going on:  I am so committed to keeping Omri under control & staying current on his obedience training that it’s about to freak me out.  Please pray for me to know feel like Omri and I have to be perfect in public .

When we got to church, we went into Matthew’s Sunday School room and introduced Omri, letting the kids come pet him if they liked.  Then we visited Scott’s SS room, doing the same.  After that, Omri and I went to our Sunday School room where we stayed for that hour.  Next week, I plan on sitting in on Matthew’s Sunday School with Omri so that his Sunday School teachers know what to do to keep Omri still & calm.  (I hope!)  We stayed for Service today.  We initially went into a pew, but there obviously wasn’t enough room there for the boys, me and Omri so we ended up front row…down front with Omri on his place.  I’m sure the pastor was surprised to see someone sitting there!  We go to a Baptist church, and for those who don’t know, the phrase “back-row Baptist” is pretty much our mantra.    To give Brother Ronnie credit, he didn’t bat an eye or stumble at all the whole time we sat there.  I’m sure it wasn’t easy.  ha!  If anyone is close to Temple, and is looking for a good, Bible-believing church, give Canyon Creek Baptist Church a try.  We’ve visited several churches in the area & like it best so far. 

This is Omri at church this morning.  I think he went to sleep during the sermon, but don’t tell Bro. Ronnie!  LOL

I am starting to feel like I’m slowly returning to my “normal” self…at least I’m not AS tired as I was.  For those of you who have Service Dogs from 4Paws, if your spouse couldn’t go to training, how did you train them to be the handler?  I’m trying to train Jason, but he’s not the easiest student in the world.  He knows so much more about dogs in general than I do, that a lot of the time he ignores what I tell him about how Omri was trained & how to handle him.  Do I just let him make his mistakes & then show him or should I interrupt him mid-stream to correct him???

 

I don’t want this to sound like I’m having a pity party, but maybe I am!  I really feel overwhelmed by everything right now like there’s more on my plate than I can possibly be expected to handle.  We’ve got Omri who is a blessing, but I don’t know how we’ll pay our rent.  Also, Matthew & Scott are so far behind in school that they may have to attend summer school.  Add to that Jason’s job may not be very stable & it’s a lot to deal with right now.  HOW DO I KEEP SANE RIGHT NOW???? Jason would absolutely FREAK if he knew I admitted that, but I gotta tell someone before I explode.

 

Love,

Dea

Graduation!

Whew!  We graduated!  On Friday, Feb. 24, Omri, Matthew and I took our Public Access test.  We had to pass it in order for Omri to become a certified service dog.   He did very well until they introduced food.  Oh boy!  He kept lunging toward it trying to get to it.  I kept telling him “NEEEEEOOOOWWWWWWW” just like Jeremy, Jessa, Jenna & Jennifer had taught us.  Finally, he heeled right past it.  Then, we had to put him in a “down” & push the food toward his nose.  He was required to stay in “down” until released.  Other than that small hiccup, we did really well.

This picture was taken after graduation.  It was the coldest day we had the entire time we were there.

 

When we got back to 4 Paws, the kids played while the parents went over paperwork with Alicia.  This included the contract, vet records, instructions on how to contact 4 Paws if needed, etc.  Then, we had a graduation ceremony.

Each child and their service dog was provided with a certificate & their pictures were taken like a jillion times by every parent there and Karen.   

Of course, we all had to get pics of each kid with their dog and the crew at 4 Paws.  The people in the group shots are Jeremy, Karen, Jenna, Jessa and Jennifer.

 

These are just some fun shots of all our friends at 4 Paws.  Todd & John were nuts!  Love all the parents and dogs.  Will miss all of them tremendously!

This sweet lady is Jessa!  She is the dog trainer who trained Omri most of his job.  WE just LOVE all the trainers at 4 Paws!

The kids all got to sign the graduation banner with their names & their dog’s name as well.    After graduation, we left Ohio and headed south that same day.  We saw a sign on the Interstate for the Kentucky Speedway.  With the biggest NASCAR fan ever in the truck, of course we had to stop & take a picture!

 

 

 

These were taken on the LONG ride home.  Omri did SO very well!  As you can see, he slept most of the way home.  The pics of Matthew with the cannon were taken at Parkers’ Crossroads in Tennessee.  It was one of the sites of a battle in that area during the War of Northern Aggression. (That’s the “Civil War” for you Yankees.)  In case you’re wondering, it took us 2 days to get home.  We traveled to Bowling Green, KY on Friday.  On Saturday, we drove from there to Little Rock,AR.  Jason came to Little Rock Saturday night, and he drove us home to Temple, Texas on Sunday.  Matthew & I have ridden over 1100 miles since 4PM Eastern Time Friday.  Needless to say, we’re both a weeeee bit tired!

 

I debated whether or not to put this picture on here, but I try to be open and honest with our life so here it is:

That is what my bedroom looked like when I got home.  Can you say Mama's upset?  Yes, you can!  I’d like to say the rest of the house is clean, but unfortunately, the WHOLE house looks like this!  Since I have to be at work at 8 in the morning, I’m thinking it’s not going to get cleaned up tonight!  It might get cleaned up Friday, but I plan on putting Jason & the boys to work this week after school/work.  I really don’t want to have to clean the whole thing again considering it was clean when Matthew & I left!

 

On a happier note, though, we found out one of the other families there with us also lives in Texas!  This is Jamie!  Her daughter received a service dog, also,  We live about 2 hours apart, and we plan on getting together this spring/summer. 

 

Love,

Dea